Grief and Loss

The pain of grief differs from any pain we feel during our lives. Grief brings up intense, sometimes conflicting, emotions. Grief therapy is not focused on leaving the past behind but rather on constructing a new existence that embraces grief and allows it to coexist within our lives.

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HOW CAN ROYA COUNSELLING SUPPORT YOU WITH grief?

We honor your unique grieving journey; there is no right or wrong way to grieve and no right or wrong way to feel as you grieve. Sadness, anger, numbness and even relief are normal reactions to grief.
Together we will make space for the intense waves of emotions that grief brings to help you feel “held” as you grieve.
We will work on tools that can support you through your grief and anchor you in the face of intense emotions.
We will explore how you can take care of your day-to-day physical and emotional well-being and ask for support when necessary.

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Different forms of grief:

"Natural" grief:

This is an instinctual, hard-wired natural reaction to loss and is characterized by a range of emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, and acceptance. Gradually, individuals learn to create space for their emotions, come to terms with the loss, and build a new life while recognizing and honoring their loss.

Complicated grief:

Complicated grief occurs when the intense emotions and intense longing for the lost person linger or worsen over time and interfere with the person`s ability to function, even years after the loss.

Anticipatory grief:

Anticipatory grief occurs when a person experiences grief before the actual loss occurs, such as when a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness.

Disenfranchised grief:

Disenfranchised grief occurs when a person experiences grief that is not recognized or validated by society, such as the loss of a pet, a job, or a relationship that was not acknowledged by others.

Collective grief:

Collective grief occurs when a group of people experiences grief in response to a shared loss, such as a natural disaster, a terrorist attack, or the death of a public figure.

Delayed grief:

Delayed grief occurs when a person suppresses or avoids their grief for an extended period of time, often due to cultural or societal expectations.

Masked grief:

Masked grief occurs when a person experiences grief but expresses it in ways that are not immediately recognizable as grief, such as through substance abuse, physical symptoms, or other behaviors.

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Common questions about grief:

Will grief counselling take away the painful emotions?

Grief counselling is not about taking your pain away and making difficult emotions disappear. It is healthy and necessary to feel your emotions as you grieve. Grief counselling is about helping you hold the pain of grief more effectively and healthily. This is done through creating a space to talk about your emotions and learning skills to ride the big waves of emotions.

I feel relief after my loved one died. Is this normal?

Feeling relief, specially when a person with severe chronic illness passes away, is quite common. It does not mean you are “unkind” or “unloving”.

How do I know if I am grieving properly?

Grief is messy. There is not a single model of grief or a “normal” way of grieving that applies to everyone. A skilled therapist can help you accept your grieving journey and understand your process better without judgement.

How long will my grieving process take?

Coming to terms with and accepting loss takes time. It is important to be patient with yourself or anyone who is going through grief. It is natural to want the painful emotions to end and yet it is also important to recognize that we can`t rush the grieving process.

How can I support a person who is grieving?

Your kind presence is probably the best gift you can offer to a grieving person. Simple acts such as sending a text message to them, preparing meals for them, and helping them with day-to-day chores can go a long way. Sentences such as “time will heal” and “you will eventually get over it” are NOT helpful to say someone who is grieving since it can invalidate or minimize their experience.

About Roya Counselling

At Roya Counselling, we are committed to providing professional, ethical, and evidence-based counselling services that prioritize your well-being. We understand that seeking therapy can be a difficult and brave decision, and we honor the trust you place in us. We have personally experienced the transformative power of therapy, and we will never take your desire for healing lightly.

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We believe in the inherent resilience of our clients, and our stance towards our clients is non-judgmental, compassionate and curious.
We feel very privileged to hear about our clients' hopes, goals and pains and witness them slowly recovering their peace, happiness and livelihood.